除了“我愛你”，你還能說什么

by Carrie Laski

Sometimes those three words just arent right. You think you feel what most people feel when they say those words， but those words arent the right ones. Theres got to be an alternative[替代品] somewhere in the English language， but you havent found it yet. In the meantime， sit across[對面而坐] from someone at a Puerto Rican[波多黎各的] restaurant and listen as he talks about politics or his childhood or something completely unrelated. Listen more to the tones of his voice than the words he says and be aware of your own words bubbling up[冒泡] in your throat like the beer in your glass. When you just cant stop yourself anymore， tuck[收攏] your hair behind your ears， take a deep breath and say：

“These plantains[（可當蔬菜烹飪食用的）大蕉] are really well cooked.”

He will agree that they are.

But perhaps youre not at a restaurant. What then？ Perhaps youre on the sidewalk， and its cold， and he doesnt have gloves[手套] so he puts his hand in your pocket. Youre walking quickly because the wind is whipping[鞭打] through the evening streets， and all you can think of is his bare hand[不戴手套的手] tightening around your gloved one. If only you werent wearing gloves， then it would be better because touching is better than most things. Being with this person is better than most things. You come to a stop because the light has changed， and he looks at you all goofy[傻瓜的] from above the collar of his coat that he has buttoned[扣住] as far as it can go and squeezes[緊握] your hand. Look him straight in the eyes and say：

“You should really get yourself some gloves.”

And he will agree that he should.

Maybe by now youve found your way to a sort-offriends house party. How do you go about this now？ Youve said hello to all the people you know， youve had three-to-five glasses of wine， and youve been listening to some [某一] kid wearing an ugly sweater play his lousy[糟糕的] guitar for half an hour. COOL he covers Lana Del Rey“Thats awesome”. How much is the appropriate amount of time to stay？ Youre sure youve exceeded[超過] it by now. You must have. The boy youre with has just come back from the kitchen and sits next to you on the window sill[窗臺]. Hes not touching you， just sitting there holding a can of Hamms， looking like he doesnt want to be there either. He turns to you but doesnt say anything， so you say：

“I cant stand these people.”

And he will agree theyre the worst.

The dark helps， it always does， but if its morning， and the sun has got you freaked[煩躁的]， youve still got options. You might be sitting with him at the kitchen table， drinking coffee from mismatched[不相配的] mugs[馬克杯]， and saying nothing because sometimes saying nothing is the best thing to say. Hes miles away， and youre thinking you should take a shower， or fix your hair， or at least brush your teeth because you feel dirty and selfconscious[自覺的]. You wish the sun werent so bright on your face， and you wish there was something other than corn flakes for breakfast so your stomach wont start making hideous[可怕的] noises. Youre about to open your mouth and say something to break the silence， but he speaks first. He tilts[傾斜] his head slightly and says：“You make me really happy.”

And you will agree he does， too.

有時候，那三個字就是不符合情境。你覺得你能體會到大多數人在說出這些字眼時的感受，但是這三個字并不合適。英語中一定有其他可以替代的詞語，只是你還沒找到而已。與此同時，在波多黎各的一家飯店里，你坐在某個人對面，聽著他談論政治或他的童年或是其他毫不相關的內容。你聽著他說，更多的是注意他講話的聲調而不是所說的內容，你意識到想說的話不斷涌上喉頭，就像杯子里（冒著泡）的啤酒。當你再也克制不住的時候，把頭發捋到耳后，深吸一口氣，然后說道：

“這些大蕉做得真好吃?！?/p>

他會同意你所說的。

但是可能你不是在飯店。情況又會怎么樣呢？也許你走在人行道上，天很冷，而他沒戴手套，于是把手插在你的衣兜里。你走得很快，因為晚上冷風肆虐的街道上，你腦子里唯一想的就是他不戴手套的手緊握著你戴著手套的手。如果你也沒戴手套就更好了，那樣就可以直接觸摸到他的手，那比大多數事情都美好。跟這個人在一起勝過大部分事。交通燈變換，你們停了下來，他從他那一直扣到頂部的大衣領口上方傻傻地看著你，手握得更緊。你直直地望著他的眼睛，說：

“你真應該買副手套?！?/p>

他會說是的。

也許現在你來到某個朋友辦的家庭派對。這下你該怎么辦？你跟所有你認識的人打招呼，喝了三五杯酒，還聽了一個穿著難看毛衣的小孩彈著差勁的吉他，一彈就是半個小時?？岬氖撬麖椀倪€是拉娜·德雷的《棒極了》。應該待多久才合適呢？你很清楚你已經待得過久了。一定是的。和你一起的那個男孩剛從廚房回來，正挨著你坐在窗臺上。他并沒有碰觸到你，只是拿著一罐哈姆啤酒坐著，看起來他也不想待在那兒。他轉向你，但什么也沒說，于是，你說：

“我受不了這些人?！?/p>

他會表示贊同，說這些人太遜了。

夜晚幫了忙，總是如此，但如果是在早上呢，陽光使你變得煩躁，但你還是有選擇的。你可能和他一起坐在廚房餐桌上，喝著用不相配的馬克杯裝著的咖啡，你們什么都沒說，因為有時候無聲勝有聲。他在神游，而你還在考慮應該去洗個澡，或者修剪下頭發，或者至少刷個牙，因為你覺得自己很臟。你希望太陽不要把你的臉照得那么清楚，你希望除了玉米片還能有其他早點，這樣你的胃就不會發出可怕的聲音。你正準備說點什么打破沉默，但是他先開口了。他微微歪頭，說：“你讓我感到真正的幸福?！?/p>

而你也會同意他所說的。