苑添宣
I went to New York by train with my family today.
I got up very early because I was excited to go to New York. First, we visited the Central Park. It was so beautiful that everyone who visited the park liked it very much. After that, we went shopping in a supermarket. It was crowded, so we didnt buy anything. Then we went to the zoo to see animals. The animals in the zoo were lovely and interesting. We came back home at seven oclock. We all had fun. We were tired, too. We went to bed very early.
What an enjoyable trip we had!
簡評:
本文是初二學生的一篇優秀習作,以日記的形式記述了假期中的一次旅行。時態運用準確,語句優美并適時地使用了狀語從句、定語從句等較復雜的語句。小作者能夠把學過的詞匯、語句靈活運用到本文中,但個別的詞語用法還須多下功夫。
指導教師:王磊