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Direction 1 話題寫作

2018-09-07 12:27
瘋狂英語·新悅讀 2018年7期
關鍵詞:檔次詞數準確性

開學第一天

語言風暴

Ⅰ.寫作高頻詞匯〈明其義〉

1.campus校園

2.canteen餐廳

3.laboratory/lab實驗室

4.dining hall食堂

5.dormitory宿舍

6.club俱樂部

7.competition競賽

8.reward獎勵

9.achievement/result成績

10.marks/grades/scores分數11.prepare lessons備課

12.have lessons上課

13.prepare for lessons預習功課14.work hard at努力做/學

15.put one's heart into專心于

16.concentrate on全神貫注;專心于

17.after-school/extracurricular activities課外活動

18.voluntary labor義務勞動

19.take an active part in physical activities

積極參加體育活動

20.have a party舉行晚會

21.learn...by heart記住

22.keep...in mind記住

23.make progress in...在……方面取得進步

24.have a good command of...精通……

25.lay a good foundation in...在……方面打下良好的基礎

26.take part in參加

27.return/come back to school返校

28.make up one's mind下定決心

Ⅱ.主題精彩表達〈悉其用〉

(1)見到新的老師和同學,我太高興了?。ㄊ褂肏ow引導的感嘆句)

How nice it is to see my new teachers and classmates!

(2)踏進大門,學??偸亲屛蚁肫鹱鳛橐粋€學生所肩負的責任。(使用動名詞作主語)

Stepping into the gate of the school always reminds me of the responsibility I carry as a student.

(3)在新的環境中我是多興奮?。。ㄊ褂肏ow引導的感嘆句)

How excited I felt in the new environment!

(4)能和新同學交朋友,能向新老師學習是我巨大的榮幸。(使用it作形式主語)

It's my greatest honor to make friends with my new classmates and learn from my new teachers.

(5)我在學習及與同學相處上可能會有困難,在生活中承受著一些壓力。(使用現在分詞表結果)

I might have difficulties in learning and getting along with classmates,bearing some pressure in life.

(6)我肯定會堅強地度過高中三年的每一階段。(使用It is certain that...)

It is certain that I will get stronger and get through every step of high school in the three years yet to come.

(7)這是我見到的最美的校園。(使用that引導的定語從句)

This is the most beautiful campus that I have ever seen.

(8)我和我的同學對校園里的新鮮事都非常感興趣。

My classmates and I are interested in the new things on the campus.

任務呈現

今天是你進入高中的第一天,請根據以下要點用英語寫一篇日記,并向學?!队⒄Z園地》投稿。內容包括:

1.校園環境;

2.對老師和同學們的印象;

3.自己的感受。注意:

1.詞數100左右(格式及首句已給出,但不計入總詞數);

2.可以適當增加細節,以使行文連貫。

September 1st,Thursday Fine

Today is my first day at Senior High school.

寫作指導

一、審題與定調

本寫作體裁為日記,主要描述開學第一天的所見及所感。寫作時要注意要點全面,層次清晰。本寫作以陳述當天發生的事為主,故時態以一般過去時為主,人稱則以第一人稱為主。

二、寫作微技能點撥

步入高中后的第一天,你一定會有許許多多的新鮮感受。巧妙地使用表示情緒類的形容詞是描寫個人感受的最佳途徑!常見的情緒類形容詞有excited,delighted,interested,determined,以及inspired等。

三、布局與行文

結構 寫作要點 普通表達 升級表達第一部分描寫校園環境●W h e n I w e n t i n t o t h e s c h o o l,I f o u n d i t s o b e a u t i f u l.●G r e e n t r e e s a n d d i f f e r e n t k i n d s o f f l o w-e r s a r e h e r e a n d t h e r e.O u r s c h o o l s e e m s l i k e a b i g g a r d e n.●W h e n I w e n t i n t o m y s c h o o l,I s a w a t a l l t e a c h i n g b u i l d i n g.O n t h e t o p o f i t,o u r n a t i o n a l f l a g w a s f l y i n g.●T h e a i r h a d t h e s m e l l o f f l o w e r s.I t m a d e m e f e e l r e l a x e d.●E n t e r i n g t h r o u g h t h e s c h o o l g a t e,I w a s a m a z e d a t i t s b e a u t i f u l s c e n e r y.●W i t h g r e e n t r e e s a n d d i f f e r e n t k i n d s o f f l o w e r s e v-e r y w h e r e,o u r s c h o o l l o o k s l i k e a b i g g a r d e n.●O n s t e p p i n g i n t o m y s c h o o l,I s a w a t a l l t e a c h i n g b u i l d i n g,o n t h e t o p o f w h i c h o u r n a t i o n a l f l a g w a s f l y i n g.●T h e a i r w a s f i l l e d w i t h t h e s m e l l o f f l o w e r s,w h i c h m a d e m e f e e l r e l a x e d.第二部分描述你對老師和同學們的印象●A l l m y n e w t e a c h e r s a r e k i n d a n d p a-t i e n t.●T h e y u s e d i f f e r e n t t e a c h i n g m e t h o d s.●S h e u s e d a n e w m e t h o d o f t e a c h i n g.I h a d n e v e r e x p e r i e n c e d i t b e f o r e.●A l l m y c l a s s m a t e s a r e f r i e n d l y a n d h a r d-w o r k i n g.●I h o p e m a n y o f t h e m w i l l b e m y f r i e n d s./I h o p e t o m a k e m a n y n e w f r i e n d s.●T h e n I w a s h a p p y t o f i n d t h a t m y n e w t e a c h e r s w e r e n o t o n l y e n t h u s i a s t i c b u t a l s o e x p e r i e n c e d.●T h e i r t e a c h i n g m e t h o d s s e e m e d n e w a n d e f f e c t i v e.●I w a s a t t r a c t e d b y h e r n e w m e t h o d o f t e a c h i n g,w h i c h I h a d n e v e r e x p e r i e n c e d b e f o r e.●A l l m y c l a s s m a t e s a r e f r i e n d l y a n d d i l i g e n t.●I'm l o o k i n g f o r w a r d t o m a k i n g f r i e n d s w i t h t h e m.第三部分表達自己的感受●I c a n't f o r g e t m y f i r s t d a y a t S e n i o r H i g h s c h o o l.●I t h i n k I'l l h a v e h a p p y h i g h s c h o o l d a y s.●I w i l l m a k e p r o g r e s s h e r e.●M y f i r s t d a y a t S e n i o r H i g h s c h o o l m a d e a d e e p i m p r e s s i o n o n m e.●I'm s u r e I'l l s p e n d m y h i g h s c h o o l d a y s h a p p i l y.●I b e l i e v e w i t h e x c e l l e n t t e a c h e r s h e l p i n g m e,I w i l l m a k e g r e a t p r o g r e s s h e r e.

【范文對比】

普通范文

September 1st,Thursday Fine

Today is my first day at Senior High school.①When I went into the school, I found it so beautiful.②Green trees and different kinds of flowers are here and there.Our school seems like a big garden.

③All my new teachers are kind and patient.④They use different teaching methods.At the first lesson,I felt nervous at first,but I was soon relaxed after our teacher asked us to introduce ourselves to each other.Besides, ⑤all my classmates are friendly and hard-working.⑥I hope many of them will be my friends.

⑦I can't forget my first day at Senior High school.⑧I think I'll have happy high school days.

高級范文

September 1st,Thursday Fine

Today is my first day at Senior High school.①Entering through the school gate,I was amazed at its beautiful scenery.②With green trees and different kinds of flowers everywhere,our school looks like a big garden.

③Then I was happy to find that my new teachers were not only enthusiastic but also experienced.④Their teaching methods seemed new and effective.In the English class, Mr Smith, our foreign teacher from America,told us about his interesting experiences in China.Besides, ⑤all my classmates are friendly and diligent.⑥I'm looking forward to making friends with them.

⑦My first day at Senior High school made a deep impression on me.⑧I'm sure I'll spend my high school days happily.

溫馨貼士:仔細閱讀這兩篇文章,我們會發現相同標號的內容采用了不同的表達方式來表達相同或相近的含義。因此,大家在平時的寫作中,應該多使用一些復雜結構或高級詞匯;同時,也應學會使用簡單詞匯或句式來表達復雜的意思。另外,高級范文表達中的部分詞匯雖目前尚未學到,但都屬于課標詞匯,學有余力的同學可以提前學習掌握。

類文跟進

假定你是李華,請用英語給你的新西蘭網友Jack寫一封電子郵件,描述你上高中第一天的見聞及感受。注意:

1.詞數100左右;

2.開頭和結尾已給出,但不計入總詞數。

規范寫作

Dear Jack,

How are you?I want to tell you something about my first day at Senior High school.

Best wishes,

Li Hua

評價反思

答題規范評價項目 項目得分或檔次A.整潔完美 B.較為整潔 C.涂改較多 D.無法辨識A.篇幅適中 B.減掉2分卷面整潔性篇幅規范性要點完整性A.完整無缺 B.個別遺漏 C.遺漏較多 D.偏題跑題語言質量結構清晰性用詞準確性語法正確性表達豐富性篇章邏輯行文流暢性A.準確無誤 B.些許錯誤 C.錯誤較多 D.詞不達意A.正確無誤 B.些許錯誤 C.錯誤較多 D.語法混亂A.豐富多樣 B.較為豐富 C.表達單調 D.詞匯堆砌A.流暢自然 B.較為流暢 C.部分阻滯 D.完全阻滯A.靈活自如 B.較為靈活 C.些許體現 D.完全缺失寫作微技能個人評級及得分老師評級及得分改進措施及總結

附:高考寫作評分原則

(1)本題總分為25分,按5個檔次(依次為21~25分、16~20分、11~15分、6~10分,以及1~5分)給分。

(2)評分時,先根據文章的內容和語言初步確定其所屬檔次,然后以該檔次的要求來衡量,確定或調整檔次,最后給分。

(3)詞數少于80和多于120的,從總分中減去2分。

(4)評分時,應注意的主要內容為:內容要點、應用詞匯和語法結構的數量和準確性、上下文的連貫性。

(5)拼寫與標點符號是語言準確性的一個方面,評分時,應視其對交際的影響程度予以考慮。同一單詞用英式拼寫或美式拼寫均可接受。

(6)如書寫較差,以致影響交際,將分數降低一個檔次。

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